Chronic Back Pain… How I have coped for 14 years

Today I visited WebMD Health and a message board post titled “Long Days of Fibro Pain:  What do you all do?” spoke to my heart. I can completely sympathize with what the writer is enduring in pain, disability, feelings of loneliness, and isolation. “Worthless, hopeless, friendless” are words that describe exactly how I have felt so many times over the past 14 years since my back injury.

Like Mindy, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic pain. I also have osteoarthritis, mild scoliosis, and degenerative disk disease. You name it. I’m osteopenic in my lumbar spine, had a knee replacement for an old ski injury, and I’m a breast cancer survivor of 17 years.


Before my health problems began, I was a vibrant PR professional working in a hospital setting as director of public relations and marketing. I was outgoing, had many friends, traveled frequently, went to concerts, plays, movies, enjoyed eating meals out, and I could keep up with activities of my two children – now in their 30s. Then, at age 52, just three months after my second marriage, I ruptured a disk at L5-S1. Two disks above that level are also deteriorating.

I was told I was not a candidate for surgery – just learn to live with it. I have been through two pain management programs, extensive physical therapy, biofeedback, counseling, and I’m on a lot of different medications. I was turned down for Social Security Disability twice and gave up. They told me I was still “walking around.” My marriage broke up after two years, due to my greatly changed condition. My husband could not cope with a woman he called “an old woman and an invalid.” So, I left him under duress. Talk about feeling worthless!

Fortunately, I still had my rented out home to move back to, where I slowly began my own business as a writing consultant for various health care providers. Within two months of my back injury, I had been laid off from work. I couldn’t have continued to work full-time and commute as I had previously done, anyway.

I knew I must find something I could do part-time, at my own pace. I began working as a healthcare contract writer from home. Gradually, I built up my clients and the hours I was able to work.  Now almost retired, I continue to pace myself through each day.

Usually, I try to walk about a mile and a half about mid-morning. I also do a moderate series of stretching and strengthening exercises in the evening. After exercising, my tolerance for sitting at the computer usually improves. I sometimes set a timer to remind me to get up and stretch. In the beginning, I had two computers, one where I could stand to input copy, and one for sitting, to vary my position all day.

Of course, I have to lie down frequently or sit back in my recliner. I use a back support pad whenever I’m on the go, and I keep grabber devices handy to keep from bending and stooping. I often choose a restaurant based on the comfort of their seating. I’m tall, so I modified a good deal of my living and working environment to avoid stooping. I bought a refrigerator with the freezer portion on the bottom, as I don’t use it as much. I also have a shower stall with a built-in seat.

I am now blessed to have a man in my life who understands my disabilities and helps to take care of me. He accepts me for who I am and I never feel put down by him because I can’t do much. I don’t have as many friends, but I do go for lunch with various girlfriends, those who have stuck with me through my trials, about once a month. I write poetry and I’m working on my life story. I joined a women’s group at church where I read from my autobiography every other week. It’s a great bunch of women who understand when I have to stand to stretch mid-way through our meeting.

I have also scanned and retouched many old family portraits and organized them into binders. Photography has always been a passion for me, and I’m grateful that I can continue that hobby. I’m thinking about painting with acrylics again, something I enjoyed in my 30s.

My male friend and I do a lot of listening to classical music and watching movies on DVD. He also reads to me. My trips by plane are generally short, and I stand up and stretch when I need to. If I’m traveling alone, I swallow my pride and get wheelchair assistance, as I can’t lift a suitcase.

Recently, I had another adjustment to make. My last corporate client told me he was retiring following a hospital merger. Although I am now Medicare age, I wasn’t ready to quit working or feeling like I was doing something constructive. Many former nurses and PR professionals in a hospital setting like me still have a desire to interact with people and feel like they might be making a difference in someone else’s life.

Today, the Internet provides wonderful networking opportunities and support systems for persons facing physical challenges. This Blog is still in its early stages, but I am enjoying summarizing new developments and trends in the health care field.  I feel like I am keeping my mind active and possibly helping others to find solutions to their health care issues. I continue to do what I can on good days and rest when I’m having a bad flareup.

My best advice to you is NEVER GIVE UP. Find a way to do at least a portion of what you love. The friends that remain are TRUE friends. Find ways to show them how much it means to have them in your life.

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